LS was going through her files when she saw this. Yes, she has a file on dog humour. Some or all of you would've probably read it before as it was published quite a long time ago.
When LS read this a few years back, she went "Oh no, I don't think I do many of that".
But when she read it again minutes earlier, she went "Oh no! I'm doing most of that!!!"
I have trained LS well, haven't I?Can your humans relate to these?
~ You have a kiddie wading pool in the yard but no small children
~ Lintwheels are on your shopping list every week.
~ Your freezer containes more dog bones than anything.
~ You hang around the dog section of your local bookstore way too often.
~ Your non-dog friends won't eat food prepared in your kitchen.
~ Your parents refer to your pet as their "grand-dog."
~ You have baby gates permanently installed at strategic places around the house but no babies.
~ You open your purse and that big bunch of baggies you use for pick-up pops out .
~ You skip breakfast so you can walk your dog in the morning before work.
~ The trash basket is more or less permanently installed in the kitchen sink, to keep the dog out of it while you're at work.
~ You can't see out the passenger side of the windshield because there are dog nose prints all over the inside.
~ You don't go to happy hours with co-workers anymore because you need to go home and walk your dog.
~ You don't think it's the least bit strange to stand in the back yard chirping "Molly, Pee!" over and over at your dog who tends to play and forget what she's out there for.
~ You go to the pet supply store every Saturday because it's one of the very few places that lets you bring your dog inside, and the dog loves to go with you.
~ You get an extra long hose on your shower massage just so you can use it to wash the dog in the tub, without making the dog sit hip deep in water.
~ You and the dog come down with something flu like on the same day. The dog sees the vet while you settle for an over the counter remedy from the drug store.
~ You not only have dog toys strewn about, but your guests also have to be careful not to trip on the dog jumps. (well we gotta exercise them in the winter somehow)
~ Your weekend activities are planned around taking your dog for a hike.
~ You refer to yourself as "mommy" and "daddy".
~ Your dog sleeps with you.
~ You'd rather stay home on Saturday night and cuddle your doggies than go to the movies with your sweetie.
~ You keep an extra water dish in your second-floor bedroom, in case your dog gets thirsty at night.
~ You avoid vacuuming the house as long as possible because the dogs are afraid of the brain-sucker.
~ When your dog is getting old and arthritic, and you go buy lumber and build it a small staircase so it can climb onto the bed by itself.
~ You shovel a zig-zag path in the back yard snow so your dog can reach all of his favorite places.
~ Your have 32 different names for your dogs. Most make no sense but they understand.
~ Your dog eats cat poop but you still let him/her kiss you (but not immediately after, of course)
~ You never completely finish a piece of steak or chicken so the dog gets some too.
~ Poop has become a source of conversation for you and your significant other.
~ You are the only idiot walking in the pouring rain because your dog needs his walk.
~ You send birthday, anniversary and Christmas cards from your dog.
~ You like people who like your dogs. You despise people who don't.
~ You lecture people on responsible dog ownership every chance you get.
~ You keep eating even though you find a dog hair in your pasta.
~ You carry dog biscuits in your pockets all the time.
~ You make popcorn just so you can play catch with your dog.
~ You talk about your dogs like other people talk about their kids.
~ You have your dog pictures on your office desk. (but no one else's).
~ Your license plate or license plate frame mentions your dogs.
~ You match your furniture, carpet and clothes to your dog.
Source : The American Bloodhound Club Bulletin Spring 1996
